Some people may end up in relationships where they realize that they or their partners aren’t putting in much effort. Some people refer to this as putting in the “bare minimum” in a relationship. In most cases, people don’t intend to end up in a pattern like this, but time and circumstances can lead people to become complacent and put in less effort than they did at the beginning of a relationship. Keep reading to learn more about what it means to put in the bare minimum in a relationship and how changing this pattern can improve self-respect and relationship dynamics.
What it means to give the bare minimum in a relationship
The bare minimum may have a variety of definitions. It can be important to consider that people often have different expectations of their partners. For example, some people may believe it’s not enough to receive a simple text response to a message. They may require a thoughtful response that demonstrates empathy and deep thought.
To other people, a reduction in displays of affection may be a more notable sign of bare-minimum effort. This may be the case for those who prioritize physical touch as an expression of love. However, a reduction in physical touch isn’t always due to a lack of love or affection. Some couples simply may not show the same affection they used to show at the beginning of their relationship.
Couples may benefit from considering what their partner values and what makes them feel loved and appreciated. This can be different for each couple and for each partner in a relationship.
Grand gestures: A possible red flag
Some people may make grand gestures in a relationship, such as surprising their partner with expensive gifts. However, this may be a mechanism to compensate for a lack of effort in other ways. For example, someone may neglect to spend time with their partner and connect with them emotionally. To try to make up for this behavior, they might “love bomb” their partner with jewelry or other gifts. This may be a red flag if these gestures aren’t followed up with a change in behavior that demonstrates a desire for true intimacy.
How communication about patterns can improve self-worth and lead to personal growth
Experiencing the bare minimum in a relationship doesn’t mean that the relationship can’t be improved. By recognizing and communicating about negative patterns, individuals may find that they can make changes that improve their intimacy and relationship dynamics.
For example, couples may benefit from communicating about how to distribute household duties and other responsibilities. Communication may help each partner put in the maximum effort to spend time together while also respecting each other’s needs for self-care and time alone.
Support groups
Some couples may benefit from joining support groups for people who are experiencing relationship challenges. A support group may help a couple recognize that they are not the only ones having trouble with their relationship. Support groups may also provide ideas for improving intimacy and relationship dynamics.
Getting mental health support from a licensed psychologist
Some couples may find that they can improve their relationships by speaking with a licensed psychologist or therapist. A couples counselor may be able to help a couple deepen their intimacy, which may help them overcome bare-minimum standards and stop putting other priorities above addressing their relationship challenges. A therapist may also be able to provide strategies that lead to personal growth and changes that help both partners feel valued.
How an online therapist can help with personal growth in a relationship
Individuals whose partner isn’t ready for therapy can still find support through individual therapy, either in person or online. With Dr.mindconnect, individuals can connect with a licensed mental health professional via audio, video, live chat, or a combination of these options. They can also reach out to their therapist at any time through in-app messaging, and their therapist will generally respond as soon as they can. This option may be useful on days when individuals feel frustrated by bare-minimum behavior in their relationships. They can communicate what they’re experiencing in the moment rather than waiting until their next session.
